Loving the Beach

I went to the beach with a few friends this week.

We stayed there for three days.

Three days sleeping 30 meters from the surf and I didn’t get in the water once..not one time.

Weird.

The water was fine and I’ve longed to take a dip for a long time but just being there, at that time, was enough for me.

I missed being there. I had a lovely time.

Took lots of pictures and got a good tan.

It was a good respite from my usually hectic schedule.

Not being a slave of my watch for a few days have done me good.

Incoming Tide from pollsb.com

I’ve lived near the ocean most of my life. Now I live in the city where my day starts with the beep of a clock radio and ends with the random noise from the apartment across the way. I’ve lived in monotony for quite a while and I’ve kind of settled into it. I live a comfortable life. (I’m using comfortable as another word for “boring”.) Sad, I know but that’s the price I paid for growing up.

Now I’m coming home.  Only for the weekend but I’m thrilled. I can’t wait to feel the sand on my feet and the sun’s warmth on my face and shoulders. Swimming in the waters that have been inviting me for years.

This is going to be a lot of fun.

What a way to wake up...

I woke up with soft rain tapping on the window. I took a deep breath and smiled to myself…I love the rain. It makes me feel like no matter how hot things get, how dirty or how sticky things are, there’s time for refreshing. The dirt and grime can all be washed away and you end up with a clean slate. The smell of the cool crisp air, the mist that forms outside my window, the trickle of water that’s like a lullaby made just for me. I love every bit of it.

There will never be a night without a dawn.

A lot of things are different

A lot have stayed the same

A lot I’m still not sure if I

Can deal with after you.

You’ve changed your mind so often

So much so that I’ve tried

To understand how things could be

All better after you.

You promised me forever

And I held on to your words

I never though I’d hurt so much

Not until after you.

My sorrow wouldn’t end that’s why

I looked for peace within

The peace I never felt before

But only after you.

I’ve picked up all the pieces

Of my life that you dismissed

It will take time but surely

I’ll be better after you.

Standing on my feet again

I’ve never felt so fine

To think that just a while ago

I’ve been running after you.

A lot of things are different

A lot have stayed the same

I’m still the woman you once loved

But wisdom I have gained

I’ll give my life not sparingly

But only to the man

Who knows, respects and loves me

For the woman that I am.

22-Aug-2005

That’s where I’ve been. I’ve been busy, had a lot of things going on, had people over at the house, was stressed at work, had to go to the gym, had to attend a party, had to be at this conference, was sleeping, was taking a bath, was out-of-town, was talking to a friend, was meeting a friend, was having dinner, was having lunch, was trying to catch up with my sister, was in the park, was in the hospital, was incommunicado, was sick, was not inspired, was too lazy, was too tired, was too complacent, was too indifferent, had to do the laundry, had to do the dishes, had to clean my house, to balance my check book, had to settle my debt, was watching my favourite show, was watching garbage, was watching this old movie, had a toothache, had a sore knee, had a headache, had a heartache.

I had all the excuses for not writing and not thinking and not being productive. That’s all got to stop.

I hadn’t realised how much I want to write and how much writing made me feel good.

Let’s do this again, shall we?

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

The Dream, Henri Rosseau, 1910

Have you ever gone to bed thinking you what if you don’t wake up the next morning?

Have you ever woken up from a dream that was so good you felt bad that woke up right away?

Have you ever flown on an airplane and thought what if we crash?

Have you ever told your lover you enjoyed the love making when you really didn’t?

Have you ever said something nice to a good friend and didn’t really mean it?

Have you ever done something you know you should be sorry for but wasn’t?

Have you ever cheated your way into something you could have gotten without cheating but did it anyway?

Have you ever had sex with somebody just to make them happy?

Have you ever thought about killing yourself but didn’t do it because of the mess it might make in your bathroom?

Have you ever felt at home in another person’s house and another person’s bed?

Have you ever regretted something nice you did for somebody esle?

Have you ever felt sorry for another person just because they’re not as pretty as you?

Have you ever helped another person without being asked?

Have you ever done something for somebody else that changed their life?

Have you ever said something that somebody else thought was genius?

Have you ever read a book so many times the pages are falling apart?

Have you ever just kept quite to try to listen to the world?

Have you ever thought about how small you are in a very big world?

Have you ever made up your mind about somebody you haven’t even met yet?

Have you ever liked somebody just cuz they look good?

Have you ever wanted something tha you know you couldn’t have?

Have you ever wanted to just float?

www.wondercostumes.com

Marie likes to Party like a Rockstar.

-used to…used to.

Marie likes to act like a know it all.

-I do not!

Marie likes to read Danielle Steele & romance.

-once again, used to.

Marie likes to build a home.

-would like to someday.

Marie likes to socialize and will use any excuse to celebrate with friends.

-the first but not the second

Marie likes to wade in water.

-I do, I do!

Marie likes to sing soft ballads.

-yes, sometimes.

Marie likes to spend time in the kitchen, developing and testing out new recipes.

-yes, to eat, not to cook.

Marie likes to experiment.

-hmmm… not anymore I don’t think.

Marie likes to read, laugh, take her dogs for walks.

-read and laugh. No dogs though.

Picture from www.helpabeariseatingme.com

I crawled out of bed and went to wash my face. After a splash of cold water I could smell it. So distinct and unwelcome. Monday.

I put on a pot of coffee and went to get the paper. I’m almost sure there’s nothing but bad on the news today. It’s Monday.

I took a bath and stared at my closet. What to wear, what to wear… Somehow the need to wear something office-like was not in me today. I decided on something gray and blah. What the heck, it was Monday.

Outside it was crisp and cool. Everywhere I could see traces of fall coming. I walked to where my shuttle for work is parked and one minute before I got there it started to rain. Wouldn’t you know it. Mondays.

I wish it was Tuesday. I like Tuesdays.

It was raining this morning when I left the house.

I got wet, a little but I didn’t mind.

I love the rain. The feel of it as it touches my skin, the sound it makes as it hits my umbrella. There’s nothing like it. I’d take rain over sunshine anytime.

Picture from sharondonovan.com

I like to write. Scratch that, I love to write. I’ve been scribbling stuff in diaries, notebooks, at the back of books, table napkins, in my phones and in my computer since I was a kid. Now I’m not saying I’m any good. I’m just saying I love doing it.

I hope my stuff doesn’t bore you. These are my musings. Be nice.